And there’ll always be a Hyacinth.

Just because stores are still opening and just because cranes are still moving downtown doesn’t mean we’re not having a tough time. I am a qualified, competent, smart person with 8 years of work experience, and I can’t even get a single call back. In a city that’s supposed to be recession proof.

How I envy this woman, with her monitor wipes and floppy disks.

Jona Lewie. Most people my age or of any age have no clue who he is, and those who do know him know him for one song, “You Will Always Find Me In The Kitchen At Parties”. His one or two hit wonder status obfuscates the fact that he churned out several years worth of inspired new wave songs.
I discovered Jona the same way most others did – from “Kitchen At Parties”, but that song seemed too creative and witty (with lyrics like ‘She was into French cuisine / but I ain’t no Cordon Bleu’) to be the extent of his charm. He was such an unlikely new wave pop star – 10 or 11 years older than fellow Stiffy Kirsty MacColl, and he’s not really all that much of a singer, he’s more of a talker. Not your typical Stiff star, he sings synth-heavy narrations on the now-ness of the late 70’s and early 80’s – an unexcited troubadour of the lounge lizard bildungsroman. He’s kind of like the musical version of Mike The-Cool-Person from the TV show The Young Ones, a bit of an aging hipster, slightly sleazy, occasionally saccharine, but always full of cheeky puns and one-liners.
(Speaking of Kirsty MacColl, she actually sang backing vocals on “You’ll Always Find Me In The Kitchen At Parties” and appeared as one of the bored girls in a few TOTP appearances. They were a bit like an alternative version of the Kate Bush/Peter Gabriel mentor/protege relationship.)
All of this sets him up to be something of a comic pop star, but that doesn’t do justice to his other talents – he’s a fantastic multi-instrumentalist, and was as early of an adopter of synths and drum machines as Gary Numan or anyone else at the time. In fact, his keyboarding skills are so dead simple that they’re devastating in the way they engage. He bangs the Polymoog like it’s a Farfisa and doesn’t apologize for it. He sounds like a lot of different things, but always like himself. Cases in point:
Here’s what put him on the map. It sounds like Ian Dury, Captain Sensible, and the male/female vocal alternation resembles the future Human League.
Then there’s this one, which sounds like an amazing synthpop version of the 1950’s, right down to the infectious chant. I hear a bit of Beach Boys and Nick Lowe in there too.
Even more shocking, his song “Heart of Steel” is a DEAD RINGER for the band Erasure. Yes, that Erasure – the electronics, arrangement, even some of his vocal delivery is a foretelling of what Vince Clarke and Andy Bell would sound like 5 years later.
He even sounds like a mix between the Beatles and Squeeze in this song. The song title could have been a Beatles throwaway track.
Further expounding on the Beatles-esque vibe, his other widely known song, “Stop The Cavalry”, is the UK’s most unlikely Christmas hit. It sounds like something from a new wave Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, and was only a hit because it has a single line that states on a droll, dry manner: “Wish I was at home… for Christmas.”
Jona Lewie might not have been the most serious man to play a synthesizer in late 70’s Britain, but he was one of the most fun and one of the least remembered.
Look at this advertisement. “We dedicate the new Casio FX-750P pocket computer to Silvio Berlusconi.” It would be one thing (although a weird thing nevertheless) to dedicate a computer to him if he had been president in the 80’s, but he was merely a media tycoon. I guess it would be like HP dedicating a computer to Rupert Murdoch, or more appropriately, dedicating a Timex Sinclair to Reg Grundy.
Here is proof positive that this is the man who wears the pantaloni in Italy, for better or worse. He’s Italy’s lovable quasi-dictatorial, excessively vain, loafer-wearing Casio consumer!
Isn’t this album cover pop art at its finest?
And while I wouldn’t say the album’s contents itself are perfect, it has a brilliant production value that is something akin to the Beatles and Spector in the synthpop age. Listen to “Perfect Hostess”, for example: