It is nuts how in 1980, mustachioed men in leotards were simply “court jesters” that told the story of TV ratings success, and not big flaming homosexuals doing pirouettes.

This is really worth a watch — for a number of reasons. It offers a glimpse into a world of broadcast television that used to spend lots of money to develop strong brand images, and it also offers a glimpse into the world of leotard-wearing fancy men circa 1980 in The Metroplex.

In the late 1970’s, they occasionally used David Bowie’s “Sound and Vision” to announce upcoming programs. The venerable documentary show “Arena” is something else, though, it is simply a work of art, both visually and musically. It uses the classic song “Another Green World” by Brian Eno. I can’t think of a more stunningly simple intro to any TV show.

I often dream what my TV show or my radio show would be like. Sadly, there’s a next to nil chance that I’ll ever have one, but if I did, it would be something like a mix of John Peel, Gay Byrne, and Tom Snyder. Something with a personal focus on music, mixed with humor and schmoozing with obscure but semi-popular legends. I can dream about what my theme song or junction music would be, though.

Candidate 1: The Associate by the Associates. This makes sense because it’s my favorite band, and I continue to believe they are criminally underrated. They are a critical darling, or were, I should say, but even so, only a small few seem to really believe in the Church of Rankine and Mackenzie. This song is one of their few instrumentals, so the beginning 30 seconds or so are perfect.

• click to play: The Associates — The Associate

Candidate 2: The Jezebel Spirit by Brian Eno/David Byrne. This song is located on one of my least favorite albums that I otherwise should like — this has partly to do with the fact that I love Brian Eno and pretty much think David Byrne is about as overrated as it gets. But I do like this song because it sounds like an ethnic version of typical “Eyewitness News” music — like what a white person would think that television stations would use for theme music in Kinshasa or Nairobi. I actually used it for a project in a college class as the theme music to some news presentation. It was quite popular; it went off as they say!

• click to play: Eno/Byrne — The Jezebel Spirit

Candidate 3: The Crunch by the Rah Band. Probably one of my favorite instrumentals of all time, for a number of reasons — it’s totally light-hearted and whimsical, the “Popcorn” of the late 1970’s. But it has a seriously sinister, brooding and gurgling bass synth backing that is quite addictive. This would be a great theme song to a comedy or teleplay — I call it “space cabaret”. It clearly aces the music the aliens were playing in the cantina scene in “Star Wars”.

• click to play: Rah Band — The Crunch

Candidate 4: A New Career In A New Town by David Bowie. For some reason, I find this to be the most heartbreaking instrumental ever. Perhaps it’s because I’ve started so many new careers in new towns at the tender age of 26 that I sense a whiff of glib and guarded optimism in this piece of instrumental perfection. I can just see the salary man in all of us waiting on a foggy commuter train platform for what comes next — will he be made manager or made redundant? It’s a great candidate for a business-themed TV or radio show.

• click to play: David Bowie — A New Career In A New Town

SBS, by the way, is something akin to our PBS, so you can transpose as much as needed in order to produce laughter.

You have to watch both.

(The actresses who play Kath & Kim appear at the end, by the way)

This is who and what they’re parodying, Basia Bonkowski. Fascinating documentaries from Yugoslavia…

Watch that one ’til the end — it has the adorable Australian baby montage, showing how multicultural Australia really is. All of those babies are approximately 29 years old now! And Basia Bonkowski? Ageless, just like Yugoslavia.

However, this is just the song KYW-TV used for their Direct Connection promo spots, which aired from 1979–1980. The background images are the same ones used during the actual commercials, but the footage of the commercials themselves have been taken off of Youtube. So I snagged this for myself, in case it were to be removed like the promos themselves.  I am keeping it for cultural exposure if nothing else.

Imagine the following mixed with news reporters stating such directly connected, cocaine-fueled promises as: “I’m your direct connection — to the I-TEAM.” Or: “I’m your direct connection … to the grapevine.” (The best line of all.)

This may be one of the only TV promo jingles that would have been considered hip and par for the course in a 1979 dance club. It has the pulsing Moroder-esque beat that never gets old, with only occasional interludes of strings, interrupted by a whimsical “Whoo!”

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