Matthew Rutledge
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Browse: Home / depression

depression

It would be nice to have a job.

By Matthew Rutledge on 10.20.2009

Just because stores are still open­ing and just because cranes are still moving down­town doesn’t mean we’re not having a tough time. I am a qual­i­fied, compet­ent, smart person with 8 years of work exper­i­ence, and I can’t even get a single call back. In a city that’s supposed to be recession proof.

How I […]

Posted in Matters | Tagged depression, dissatisfaction, job, recession, unemployment | Leave a response

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Home (away from home)

By Matthew Rutledge on 10.08.2009

All that Google Mapping last night made me quite nostal­gic. And a bit depressed.
This is where I was mugged, in Bed-Stuy, in Brooklyn. The tan town­house, in the little front stoop area.
View Larger Map
This is where the handle­bars fell of my bicycle, I hit a car head on, and flipped into the road, and […]

Posted in nostalgia | Tagged brooklyn, depression, google maps, memories, new york, nostalgia | Leave a response

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It is so strange the way things turn

By Matthew Rutledge on 09.22.2009

Here’s the moment where I start to feel sorry for myself again. I’ve sent out a lot of resumes now, over 10, and I haven’t received a single response. When has that ever happened? I used to have the resume employ­ers died for — there was a time, as recently as the […]

Posted in Jobhunt 2009, Matters | Tagged depression, job search, joblessness, kate bush, peter gabriel, unemployment | Leave a response

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Dancing in the dusk

By Matthew Rutledge on 09.06.2009

These have been, over­all, rather depress­ing times for me, but, like the economy, this is a moment in time that needs to happen. It may as well happen during a crush­ing reces­sion. I am unem­ployed, I am penni­less, I don’t live in the city I want to live in, yet I find myself […]

Posted in Matters | Tagged cars, depression, friendship, loneliness, Quarter-life crisis, summer, texas | Leave a response

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72 degrees, 72 miles per hour

By Matthew Rutledge on 08.28.2009

It was one of those nights that convert­ibles were ostens­ibly purchased for, so I put the roof down as I turned the igni­tion and headed for home on the ass-opposite end of town, leav­ing the house of a friend. Not just any friend, but the only one I’ve truly made since I moved back […]

Posted in Matters | Tagged anxiety, Austin, automobiles, cars, convertibles, depression, driving, new york, personal, relocation, san francisco, unemployment | Leave a response

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The morning after

By Matthew Rutledge on 08.20.2009

It’s amaz­ing how much energy you invest into some­thing you don’t even believe in — that was the last 4 or 5 months for me. I need to get back to New York — I haven’t been happy more than a day or two in a row since I left 2 years ago. […]

Posted in Matters | Tagged Austin, depression, new york, texas, unemployment | Leave a response

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July 2009: Photographic month in review

By Matthew Rutledge on 08.02.2009

It looks like I was jetset­ting in the insu­lar Club Med that is Travis County, but in real­ity, it was one of the most diffi­cult months of my entire life.

Posted in Austin, Photo | Tagged Austin, depression, difficulties, gallery, july, month in review, personal, photos, summer, texas | Leave a response

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Monday’s sad mini-mixtape

By Matthew Rutledge on 06.29.2009

I haven’t been feel­ing it, well, for a very long time, but espe­cially today.  If I could be anywhere right now, it would be in San Francisco with Nate (and walk­ing Pete’s dog Dudley). I have been depressed for YEARS now. Years. Because I’ve been in places I know I don’t belong. […]

Posted in Music | Tagged depression, Mixtape, MP3, Music, san francisco | Leave a response

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Matthew Rutledge is a person living in Austin, Texas.